Divorce is a bitch. There isn’t much you can do if someone stops loving you. Accept it and move on. Easy for some people maybe. What if you believe that person was your soul mate? Sounds silly I know. If you believe in such things though, how do reconcile it? Life is short but eternity is forever. I decided to write a book. It saved my sanity and probably my life. I think people in search of solutions to their own despair might benefit from my journey. Since you are a subscriber and maybe came here for self help, let me tell you about it.
The characters in my book Los and Enith represent yours truly and my ex wife. Just imagine realizing you lost the best thing in your life, something that could never be replaced, and it was something you let slip through your hands. This was doubly devastating.
First things first; I take due blame for my shortcomings as a husband and partner. That was extremely important in reconciling my heartbreak. I didn’t hide from the reckoning. I didn’t hide from the truth. Self examination is critical to the healing process. Sure, it is easy to blame others. Tried that first. It led down a destructive dead end. After sobering up, I looked around, took stock and realized nobody was to blame but me, and, more importantly, nobody was coming to my rescue. I needed to find my own way out of the pain. I embarked on a introspective journey that was pure hell but ultimately led to sanity. It was long and exhausting just like my 2,200 mile hike of the Appalachian Trail. Similarly, each step was revelatory. The mountains and valleys I slogged over with a heavy pack wore away all pretense I had about my physical toughness. In the end, I did summit Mt. Katahdin. At the top, I looked South and reflected on the journey. Yeah, I wished I had hiked every step displaying Hemingwayesque grace under pressure. That didn’t happen. In the end, it wasn’t a realistic expectation to begin with. Heroes are relatable because they fall down sometimes. What makes them truly heroic is they get back up and keep going despite the pain, tiredness and doubt. For my emotional recovery, I decided to eat the pain instead of letting it consume me. It literally became fuel to metaphorically climb out of my depression.
Now back to my book as a method to my salvation. Thank you for being patient. The story of Los and Enith detail my journey. Ultimately, I reunited them as a couple using the concept of Tibetan Buddhism and its belief in the immediate journey of souls through the Bardo after death. If you read my book, you will see both were just ordinary people making the best decisions they could in the midst of tremendous confusion. Nobody was at fault. Ultimately, neither one was solely responsible for the end of their marriage. Actually, both took the final step to make reunion possible. They believed in the other despite the sacrifices that required. That is what made the ultimate difference in living together happily ever after. SPOILER alert. They only reunited as souls after death, but, hey, I really do believe that some people are soul mates. In the end, the only thing that mattered to me was to find reconciliation. Story telling was cathartic. I am at peace. Somewhere, in another dimension, I am bound together with my ex wife. We move as one. Our love has transformed us into Wrathful Empathies. Together, we move through the eternity of space and time helping other lost souls find salvation. Since I felt like I knew her from another life, I am convinced we will meet again in future reincarnations. Just taking a break for now. I weaved this narrative out of a variety of interests. My imagination allowed me to bring them together in a way that can never been undone. You will see that many characters in my book also find reunification in similar extra dimensional evolutions. Good story if I say so myself.